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8 a. m.
For the time being, there is still contemplation.
It was granted to me to see Jesus and John, the Former alongside the latter, with his right arm over the shoulders of John, who is much shorter and more thickset than Jesus. But very handsome.
He has neither a beard nor a mustache - though he has at least some light blond down over his upper lip which is lost in the rosiness of his face. He is fair-haired, but the fairness is lighter than Jesus’: a chestnut blond, not Jesus’ coppery blond.
His eyes are also blue. A clear blue which is nevertheless more intense than Mary’s, but not so deep or so bright as Jesus’. The eyes of a pure, meek, loving child. Eyes which it is restful to look at.
The mouth has the serene smile of a young, happy child - of course because he is close to his Master. It is not the enraptured smile of Mary or that of Christ, full of dignity and a seriousness which is almost melancholy. It is a more human smile than these other two. But very beautiful.
After having looked very closely, I noticed a resemblance between Jesus’ features and those of his disciple, as if Jesus were an older brother and thus with more manly features, rendered more distinguished by a - what shall I say? - fully attained spiritual cultivation, testimony, and loftiness.
The question “But weren’t they perhaps somewhat related?” popped into my mind, and I picked up the Gospel. I got dizzy looking, but grasped nothing. There is mention of Zebedee and Salome, but what else...? It is true that I am not good at all at reconstructing kinship relations, but in leafing through the four Gospels I didn’t even find anything really capable of providing an explanation, not even in the footnotes.
Alright. It does not matter. I saw Jesus and his and my beloved one, and that’s enough for me.
The Same Day, 11 p.m.
Jesus says:
“And now that you can finally be entirely mine, I shall speak to you.
“It is charity to be patient even with those who disturb, and you must not reject this charity or get nervous. Look at your Master. I give you a great lesson on forbearance. Not wanting to subject you to twice as much effort by speaking to you while others are speaking to you or making an uproar around you and not wanting to make others aware of my instruction for you, I wait - with a patience which does not weary of being such - for you to be entirely for Me. You see how peacefully I wait and how benignly I resume speaking to you when the time has come. Learn to act this way yourself, with no fear of losing anything, without getting irritated in any way. You lose nothing. Be at peace. You acquire only the merit of a virtuous act.
“This evening I shall speak to you about those who, because they had believed in the Forerunner and followed Me, were chosen by Me as my apostles. And I shall also speak to you about the lost sheep of the little flock from whom there came the immense flock which now extends over the earth and is the flock baptized in my Name.
“Physical resemblances have no importance, Maria. They are fortuitous combinations. There are relatives who do not resemble one another physically as much as two who are not relatives do, and vice versa. There are also physical attractions whereby two resembling each other love one another more than two who are different do, almost as if one contemplated a second self in the other, seeing the other adorned with those embellishments which love brings one to see and which, for those who love, make the object of their love perfect. But this has no importance.
“It must be borne in mind that Galilee was not a vast world and that there were relatively few Galileans, who almost always married among themselves, and that bodily traits were thus repeated in two or three types which for centuries had been found over and over again on those faces. It would not be mistaken to say that in all the little towns, if one were to go back to the beginnings, two or three original family branches would be encountered which had married again and again among themselves, giving rise to a marked physical characteristic in the whole Galilean race.
“It should thus cause no surprise that John displayed a physical resemblance to Me. He was a fairhaired Galilean - a particularity which was rarer than the case of the dark-haired Galilean, but which also existed. But his resemblance was even more marked as regards the spirit.
“Having come to Me when still virginal, young, and innocent, he had been able to assimilate Me as had no other. He was a true copy of the Master. Love had led him to take on not only my thought, but even my way of speaking, gesturing, and moving. It had even made him resemble Me more in his face, a phenomenon which is not unknown among two who love one another perfectly. And John loved Me with perfect love. Do you see how he beams with the joy of hearing this said to him? No one loved Me as he did, except for the Blessed Woman, with a love which did not know an instant of hesitation or error. And no one, except for my Mother and the children who came to seek my caress, gave Me the gift of a heart as pure as his was.
“John died in old age, but the passing decades did not obscure that angelical purity, which knew no flame other than that of divine love and no caress other than that of my Mother.
“He was the youngest in the apostolic group. The Iscariot came after him in age. And he, too, could have been like John by virtue of his age. But he was not. And if he was not virginal, neither did he become chaste after having known Me. He was impure. And impurity impedes God’s work in hearts and favors Satan’s as does no other passion.
“His face is familiar to you. It’s that one. He appeared to you as the Seducer. For, in his attractiveness, he in fact resembled the Most Attractive One, who had rebelled against God and who is the father of all God’s enemies.
“Attractiveness, too, is a weapon in Satan’s hands, and he does not neglect impressing his seductive character on his instruments. In this way he attracts them towards his abyss and can gnaw at their hearts, injecting the threefold sin into them. And Judas had concupiscence in his heart regarding money, the flesh, and power. And because of these three Nemeses which oppressed him - and which he did not want to overcome - he became the God-killer. When Satan wants to capture someone, he offers woman, to conquer whom it is necessary to have wealth and honors. When he has captured, he denies money, honors, and woman and gives only desperation and death.
“John was the sun in the apostolic group. Judas was darkness. He was a son of Deceit. My Light and Truth could not penetrate into him. And if in spite of his prejudices I was able to make Nathaniel a convinced person2 and Levi a convert,3 since in the former there was no deceit and in the latter no resistance to grace, I could do nothing in Judas because his heart was possessed, nor could I penetrate into it because he barred my entry. He followed Me out of human hope. He betrayed Me out of human greed. He sold the Christ to his crucifiers and his soul to Satan, who had been instigating him for years, for Satan is not God, who gives even if you do not give so as to conquer you for Himself. Satan wants one hundred percent. He wants you, eternally, in exchange for an hour of deceitful success. Remember this.
“I endured this snake in the group to teach men forbearance and persistence in order to save. Not a single one of Judas’ thoughts was unknown to Me. And it was an advance passion to have him nearby. A torment which you do not contemplate, but which was no less bitter than the others. I taught you to put up with bothersome things and persons - for what person is more repulsive than the one who betrays?
“Maria, the life of Christ is a teaching even in the most insignificant details, and I instruct you on it because I want you to know Me and imitate Me even in lesser things.
“I bless you.”
Throughout the day I had been seeing the Apostolic College and waiting for night to come in order to receive Jesus’ explanation of it. Today I have spent a day - practicing patience. Never free to listen to Jesus.
Now I shall tell you what I saw.
John has been so well described that I won’t repeat myself. He is the youngest of all and, in my opinion, the most handsome. Judas Iscariot comes next in age - in him I rediscover the face in that dream I had so many years ago, which I described for you in my personal notes.4 A handsomeness which, if you examine closely, causes repugnance and fear, for it is felt to be wicked and false. A Satanic handsomeness.
I next see the other Judas, the relative of Jesus, whom he does not resemble at all because he is dark and muscular, shorter than Jesus. He seems to be about thirty years old. He has a dark, square beard. Judas Iscariot does not have a beard, as John does not, and his hair is curly and shorter than John’s. It seems to have been trimmed all around, more or less even with the length of his head.
Peter also has short hair, but with a salt-and-pepper color, since there is some white hair amidst the black. He seems to be forty-five or over. Short and muscular.
Next is a group of men about forty years old, in which there are certainly Andrew, Thomas, Matthew, and the two Jameses, then two very elderly men whose hair and beards are more white than dark. I do not know why, but I think they are Philip and Bartholomew. But the Master does not explain to me, and I remain focused on John, Peter, the Iscariot, and Judas Thaddeus, whose only resemblance to Christ is his dark blue eyes, which, however, lack the radiance of Jesus’ eyes.
And with this vision in my heart I lie back to sleep. Tomorrow I shall tell you about Paola’s5 joy over a dream she had - and mine - for I provoked that dream by asking the “Mother of orphans” to go to Paola.
2 John 1:45-51.
3 Matthew 9:9; Mark 2:13-14; Luke 5:27-28.
4 See Maria Valtorta, Autobiography (Isola del Liri, Italy: Centro Editoriale Valtortiano, 1991), translated by David G. Murray, pp. 159-163.
5 The daughter of Giuseppe Belfanti, cousin of the writer’s mother. She is often named in the course of the volume.